hayathayati

All this while

2011-12-29T05:47:00.000-08:00

Assalammualaikum, and hello everyone...,

My life has been very hectic for the past 9 months. A lot has changed and I hope I have changed for the better too. Mysha is 9 months old now and I had looked after her all this while except when I was away for one and a half months to perform the haj.

Haj was more challenging due to the huge number of pilgrims. One really has to be very patient when performing the ibadah. Doing umrah during the haj months was equally challenging. Thousands circling the Kaabah at any period of time. My husband and I managed to circle the Kaabah at the ground floor only twice. The rest, we either do it on the second floor or the top floor. The distance is longer but I really liked it since I can recite more doas.

The ibadah required more physical strength and being a senior citizen, I tried not to overdo certain ibadah, lest I tire myself easily. I thought by walking 5 km everyday before going to Mecca, I will be okay..It was the weather that my body could not take it. The days were hot ( around 40 degree celsius) and the nights were cold. Worse when it was windy. I suffered from cough..who didn't? But the cough made me tired very easily....

I am glad that I managed to do my Haj all by myself. I did the melontar, tawaf and sai' without the help of others, Alhamdulillah..

No matter how difficult it seemed to be at that time, my husband and I have no qualms of going again if Allah permits. I missed the ibadah, the crowd, the mosque, the ambience..I missed the tranquility of praying in the Masjidil Haram and Masjid Nabawi..I missed looking at the Kaabah...

I hope I get the chance to go again in the near future..and today, when I spoke with my sister over the phone..she and her husband had registered for the haj..Her purported time is 2044..

She will be 85 years old at that time..Luckily she has done her haj before..

Mysha Irene Azman Faiz Azman

2011-06-01T02:49:00.000-07:00

That's the name of my granddaughter. She was born on the 29th March 2011. All 3.2 kg of her. Can't really express what joy she brought to our family. I am a nenda now and my husband is her Tok Wan.

The rest of my children decided to call themselves Aunt Sarah, Uncle Idan and Uncle Im. No more Pak Uda, Pak Su and Mak Lang. Imran put it this way...Zaman dah berubah, dunia dah moden... thus no more old titles that I'm so used to. Even there's no nenek title to my sisters. They decided to confer the title nenda before their names.

My father, I could see through his eyes, how happy he was when he first saw Mysha. My father.. the first generation and mysha , the fourth generation..A gap of 82 years. Amazing....

Welcome

2011-03-23T20:32:00.000-07:00

I have to start writing again. It's been such a long long time since I last wrote. The reason for such a long break is I'm having a frozen shoulder. The pain is terrible and I'm still under treatment. Every fortnight I have to go to the hospital for rehabilitation ( physiotheraphy).

Still I cannot miss this opportunity to share some good news with my readers ( if there's any...I doubt I have any readers).... I am going to be a grandparent any time now. This will be our first grandchild and the first great grandchild for my father. A grandmother...me.

Can't really wait to see the new arrival of my family. Welcome aboard ( what a welcome from your nenda)

MTR HK is amazing

2010-06-23T04:55:00.000-07:00

I was in Hong Kong for a week recently. My first time there and the first time we have a family vacation after a long time. To me, HK is just okay but the MTR is something else.

We purchased an express rail line pass at the airport for easy travelling. It costs HK$220 per person. We are entitled to a single journey from the airport and 3 days of free travelling by train. There was a HK$50 deposit and any money not used will be refunded back to us. It definitely worth more than what we paid for.

For those of you who have to travel by train everyday in KL, MTR HK is a godsend. It is easy, quick, clean, punctual and not tiring at all. You do not have to walk a long way, like you did if you want to change station from Putra LRT at Masjid Jamek to STAR LRT at Masjid Jamek.

At some station , you only have to walk across to get into another train. The exit points is everywhere. You just have to know where you are going and just follow the exit points. It's as simple as ABC. That's it, no fancy names for the exits , just ABCDE or F.

There's no fancy names for the lines too. Just, red, green, blue, orange and pink ( Of course, this is the Disneyland line). The trains are big and long. There are queues but these are short and if you are not in a hurry, you can always wait for the next train.

Mind you, millions of people use the MTR everyday, so it is not easy to get seats during the peak hours. But the journey is short since the trains are very fast so you do not need a seat really..

Hong Kong MTR has been in existence for a very long time. Why can't our country adopt this system when we want to have the LRTs? We should have a mass transport system instead of a light one. Of course it is expensive.. but it is better, quicker and efficient and it works.

Any major transport system should be handled by the government..I know ..this system does not make money but it is for the benefit of everyone. If everyone use the system, then definitely the governement will make money out of it.

Then only we do not have any traffic jams since everyone prefers to use the MTR and travelling will be a breeze....

The Jews Did It Again

2010-06-07T04:41:00.000-07:00

I have not read the atrocities of the jews for quite sometime. Most of all I cannot bear to look at those young faces in their 'kain kapan'. It just broke my heart. So I refrain myself from reading any news about the jews and the palestinians.

Until now...what had happened on the flotilla of aid.Mavi Marmara and Rachel Corrie..... I just cannot comprehend with what had happened. Those blatant arrogance of breaking the international laws... Soldiers abseilled from the helicopters in the wee hours of the morning....

If a stranger come to my house in the early morning without my invitation, I would have acted the same way as those peace activists did. If they have a peaceful intent , they would never behave the way they did. Any fool would not believe that they came with peace on their mind.Enough said. But then again.. they are jews, there is no element of surprise there.

9 lives were lost that day. At least now, the rest of the world have opened their eyes wide. The thing that saddened me most is the way Egypt closed their border to Gaza. If Egypt had opened its border, none of these things would happen. As a Muslim country, Egypt should help their muslim brothers in their time of need. The rest of the Arab world just keep quite. Believe it or not, they have lost the war with the jews. If only they are united, the jews would not be so arrogant like now.

But I believe in the Quran, there will not be a Jew state in this world. Even their 'holy men'...the rabbis believe so. They can never have peace of mind unless they give back what belongs to the Palestinians. In the meantime, lets send thousands of aid ships to Gaza from now on.....

Nabil is Coming Back

2010-05-10T04:56:00.000-07:00

My son, Nabil, will be coming back for holidays in two weeks time. It has been 2 long years since he went away to further his studies. Both my husband and I have been planning a lot of things for this coming holidays. I have been planning the menu on the day he arrives. I was thinking of making his favourite dish, grilled lamb for the dinner.

The rest of the family are equally excited about food. Then came the bombshell, Nabil called and told me, he daoesn't want to eat ayam masak merah, kari ayam, ayam masak kicap, ayam masak lemak, barbecued chicken and I guess anything that includes ayam.

The first thing that he wants to eat is satay, the food that he actually not really fancy.. not the last time before he went away, anyway. So, abang, your papa and I will stop at Satay Shamuri on the way back from the airport to our house. How's that? with all your luggage and all. I really can't wait for the day when you come home...

Shopping In Bangkok

2010-04-12T02:50:00.000-07:00

I was in Bangkok last week for a 4 days 3 nights shopping. I thought I could only last a day since I do not particularly like shopping at a crowded place. Let's say I'm more than happy with all the things that I bought.

It was my first trip to Bangkok and I hope it will not be my last one. From the airport, I was greeted with the famous Bangkok jam. Our group, 5 of us arrived at our hotel safely. After minor glitches we settled in comfortably. It was an Apartment Hotel, ours was a 2 bedroom apart'hotel. The cost was RM300++ per night. I would rate it as above average. I do not think that I can rent a similar place with such low price in Malaysia.

The ride on the MRT was something else. We did not have to wait long for the trains. Everytime, our group stepped in, a few young Thais gave up their seats for us. A culture that is almost lost in my own country. Even the not so young tend to give up their seat for us. Okay, okay, we are a bunch of old ladies.

Halal food was not a problem. The coffeehouse at our hotel serves Muslim food. Everywhere we ate, the food was tasty and reasonably priced. When there was no Halal sign, we opted for vegetarian food. Even the halal food at the airport was good. Everyone who visits Bangkok should try its famous coconut ice cream. It was delicious. Hmmm...

If you are a foodie like me, check out their dried fruits department. I only have praises for them. The dried mangoes, guavas, coconut, roselle just to mention a few were heavenly. Ridhwan, my son, finished off all the dried coconut that I brought back, while my husband loves the dried mangoes and guavas. I, of course, couldn't have enough of the roselle. I bought roselle teas, dried roselle, preserved roselle and believe me, roselle seeds....to plant when I have the time.

Things are definitely cheaper in Bangkok than Kuala Lumpur. They have wholesale market for everything.Of course they have expensive things too, but we can always buy those things in Kuala Lumpur. Its the cheaper things that we can't have enough.

Hopefully the riot will be over soon. I can't wait to return to Bangkok for another trip. This time I'll make sure that I'll do the sight seeing too...

Another Wedding, Another Heartache

2010-03-15T00:32:00.000-07:00

I went to a wedding last weekend. It was hosted by my dear friend for her only child. When I reached her condominium, she was there to usher us in. In her frantic voice, she told me that her caterer had not arrive and there was no food to be served. I told her not to worry and that everything will be alright.

As I entered the wedding venue, I saw that everything was in place. The dais was very well made up, the plates and cutlery and glasses were placed nicely on the tables. The guests have arrived and since it was a ' come and go' event, I guess it would be alright if the food was a little bit late.

The event was to be from 7.30 pm to 11.30 pm. Imagine to my friend's horror, the food only arrive around 9.30 pm. Luckily some of her relatives went out to buy crates of drinking water and nuts to serve the guests. It took the caterer almost 30 minutes to serve the food. By this time the number of guests have swelled , since those who had arrived earlier were still around at this time.

What happened was clearly not my friend's fault. How could the caterer not be there at least 2 hours before the event started? And when they did come finally, why didn't they have the urgency to serve immediately? And why can't they clean the tables promptly after the first round of guests finished their dinners? instead it was the relative who clear the tables?

My friend and her husband kept on apologising to the guests all night long. I feel sad for her. In this case, no matter how hard we, her friends tried to console her, she said she was ashamed of what had happened.It should be a joyious occasion but it was marred by the thoughtlessness of the caterer.I for one will not give any business to this caterer.

The following night, my friend hosted another wedding dinner for her very close friends and families. She told me that she cried the whole night after the wedding at her condominium. Who would blame her for that? We are talking about her only child's wedding. She wanted it to be at least near perfect. But it was not meant to be.

But the wedding dinner that took place the following night was something else. It was near perfect. We enjoyed ourselves very much. And I sincerely hope that my friend will remember only of this evening instead of the disastrous one....

The Biggest Loser Asia

2010-03-11T19:16:00.000-08:00

I watched the Biggest Loser Asia finale with amazement. King David lost a massive amount of weight within 5 or 6 months. As usual money [ in this case US$100,000] is the motivation factor . Yes, he won the prize but at what price? Now, not only he looks years older, but he also looks tired and hagard.

At the media conference, he said he wanted to put back some weight again. Can our body take a sudden weight loss without any detrimental effects? I am no scientist but I wouldn't want to lose my weight in that manner. And I would not allow my children to lose theirs in that fashion too.

I think this program is excellent in motivating people to lose some weight and be healthy again. But at least the participant should not look at the prize as a mean to an end. Being competitive is fine but there must be a limit to it. Even if David lose only 40% instead of 53% of his weight, he
could still win the prize....and look great.

He must show good example to all the people out there. Don't let them starve themselves and worse become anorexics in order to be thin. Among the finalists, I admire Martha the best. Nobody expects her to be in the top four but she did it by gaining an immunity. Her determination to lose weight took her to Thailand to train with Tony. She still has some weight to lose but as she said she will take her time and do it her way.

Congratulations to all the participants of The Biggest Loser Asia. You are all winners.

Mrs. Chai......my mother when I was thirteen

2010-03-03T23:06:00.000-08:00

Last weekend, my friends and I went to Taman Seputeh to visit our former class teacher. It has been 40 long years since the last time I saw her. Yes, 40 long years [ I finally have accepted the fact that I am a veteran].

What a memorable visit it was. She was her typical self, very motherly and as excited as before.
We were still referred as my girls all the time we were there. She aged very well despite being a 70 year old lady. You would have thought that she's in her early sixties.

It was a pleasure to have met with her children and grandchildren. And the old movies of us ..dancing away in our innocence was really something. This lady is the first person we consider as a mother when we first entered this boarding school. She was the person responsible for our wellbeing and English Language.

She even paid the tuition fees of one of my friends. I remember some of my friends from different class were envious of us from Remove T. Mrs. Chai held some parties for us at her home. Taking pictures and movies of us. It was the time when we needed our mothers most and she was there for us.

Yes, Mrs. Chai...you taught us well. Whatever you taught us, we pass it down to our children. Your family must be very proud of you. I remember very clearly when you comforted me on the 13th of May. You dismissed all the negative reports from the newspaper so that I can concentrate on my studies instead of worrying for my family in Kuala Lumpur. I only realised the harshness of the situation when I went back for holidays. That's what mothers do to protect the children. And you are a mother to all of us.. ...

All is Fair in Love and War...Or Is It Really?

2010-03-01T17:54:00.000-08:00

We heard it so many times before and never question it. Some of us believe it through and through. All is fair in love and war or is it really? I am not a pessimist by nature but I chose not to believe in this one adage.

Life is never fair. Take love for an example. It takes a small miracle for you to be in love with each other. You have to be in love with each other at the right time and at the right place for this miracle to happen. You cannot say that you are in love with Hugh Jackman when in fact you have never met him [ sob ]. You only dream to be in love with him. And when love fails? It will hurt both of you, no matter whose fault it was. All is fair does not apply here.

What about war? In my adult lifetime I have 'seen' so many wars. The Gulf war, USA vs Iraq, USA vs Afghanistan, Bosnia vs Serb, Palestine vs Israel and so forth. Can we sincerely believe that all is fair in war? What about those Palestinians fighting with stones against the Jews with machines? Or the raping of the Bosnian women in the ethnic cleansing? Is it fair to the victims who were attacked by the phosphorus bombs? Unless you are fighting with each other on the same and equal ground, then it is fair. To quote Radovan Karadzic ,' it is a just and holly war', makes me squeamish in my seat. When 100,000 bosnian were massacred just because they were Muslims...it definitely not a just war!

Otherwise do not give the pre-emptive, weapon of mass destruction and other lame excuses for you to go into war. I won't buy it. Nobody wins in a war. It only brings pain....lots of it.

Justice For All

2010-02-19T20:10:00.000-08:00

For the last few weeks, almost everyone in Malaysia have been talking about the case of Saiful Bukhari against Anwar Ibrahim. This is the second time Anwar is facing the sodomy charge. The last one was years ago.

Even the Australians MPs are interested in the case to the extend that they asked the government to drop the case altogether. To some cultures, sodomy is not an offense. To me, anything against the act of nature, is detrimental to the humankind.

Anwar Ibrahim will have the court to prove that he is innocent to the charges. He will have all the courts in the country to appeal if judgement is against him. He is doing all those right now. He has nothing to be afraid of if he is innocent.

Being a public figure, a lot of people sympathise with him. They want the government to drop the case. If the government drop the case... what about Saiful. Have we ever thought of this young man? By the way, can the government drop the case? As far as I know, only the plaintiff can drop the charges. If the gavernment drop the charges, Malaysia will be the laughing stock of the world.. The only country with a government above the law.

My father once asked me who was telling the truth ...in the case of Anwar Ibrahim years ago. I told him only Allah knows beside Anwar Ibrahim himself. But I believe the truth will prevail. Anwar Ibrahim will get his justice so will Saiful Bukhari.

Future daughters-in-law

2010-02-15T02:41:00.000-08:00

We attended a wedding in Taiping yesterday. It was a second marriage for my husband's brother. Therefore it was a simple wedding attended by only immediate families and his very close friends.

I do not have the intention to discuss the wedding itself, but my sisters-in-law and I, funnily enough were trying to scout around for our own future daughters-in-law at the wedding. Luckily none of our sons were present at the wedding..otherwise they will blow their heads off.

Sadly, there was only two girls that caught our eyes. Both were sisters and very polite towards all of us. Those are the characters that we are looking for as future mothers-in-law to be. To me, both look very sweet and good looking. When we asked them for their ages, their father (who was the qadi) told us that one is 16 and the other is 13.

All hopes went up in smoke for Erwan since he is 27, there's still hope for Nabil, Imran and Adib, since they are 21, 18 and 19 respectively. But still there is a question of 200km between them. And I doubt any of us will cross each other's path again. But then again, there's the question of jodoh. We will never know.

Are all mothers like us? Trying to match make our children? I for one do not mind if my children have their own choice. They are the one who is getting married. If their choices are good for them, then they will be good for me too. I'm sure the ones that they choose will be good and kind persons.

But it is fun trying to find a future daughter-in-law. You should try it sometime..

2010-02-07T03:16:00.000-08:00

A sad looking old man..
A face lined with wrinkles
telling a long forgotten story

A sad looking old man,
with children all grown up...
who think the world of him,
They are part of the story..

The sad looking old man,
his soulmate has long gone...
leaving him behind
to finish the story..

The sad looking old man,
lying all alone in his bedroom..
Just waiting..
to end his story..

7th Feb 2010

Buck Up, Girl

2010-02-05T03:23:00.000-08:00

I've been trying very hard to lose a lot of fats from certain part of my body. I never believe in dieting since I do not have the will power to refrain myself from all those glorious food. What makes it even more difficult is my other half is trying very hard to put on weight. He only weighs a miserable 65 kg.. he looks skinny since he is tall. Whereby I weigh just 6kg less than him and being shorter than him, I look almost like a barrel.

His favorite words nowadays is ' nak makan apa '...Hello?!!! I'm trying to lose weight here.. Doesn't anybody care anymore? To make things easier, I'm cutting all the sodas and chocolates from my diet. So far so good. No more goreng pisang for me. Actually, it was hard at first but after sometimes I do not crave for them anymore.

As for exercising, I have stopped doing it for one whole month. It started when I had a bad cold and I can't seem to start doing it again. Aaaargh...buck up girl, you have to lose all those fats..no excuse okay...

What makes exercise a pain in the a** is that I do not seem to lose any weight. I lose only 1 miserable kilogram after 2 months of exercise. So there is no motivation at all ( another excuse not to exercise).

Okay, okay, no excuses whatsoever.. I have to start again .. today. But the bread I made today looks so Yummy.....

Teach Your Children Swimming

2010-01-26T03:52:00.000-08:00

As a parent, losing a child can really be heartbreaking. Whatmore when your child is at his prime age, still growing up. I wonder how the parents of those schoolboys feel when they know that they will never see their children ever again. I can only imagine their pain since I never experience anything like that. I hope I never will.

The issue here is that how can a club recruits a member who cannot even swim? Swimming must be a prerequisite for anybody who wants to join any clubs or activities that require them to be near or in any body of water. For that reason alone, anyone who cannot swim will not be accepted as a member. We can never know when accidents happen, we can only prevent them or at least minimise any harm should an accident happens.

My daughter Nadia can swim pretty well. But she will not swim in the sea for simple reason that she cannot predict the undercurrents. A strong swimmer will have a difficult time facing a strong undercurrents. So what are the chances when we cannot even swim. I remember clearly the advice given by our prophet(pbuh)... Teach your children swimming and archery. The desert has no large pools of water and yet we were asked to learn to swim (at that time). But nowadays people builds swimming pools everywhere, there are cruise ships and not to mention the flood.

I sent all my children for swimming lessons. Only Imran is still struggling with swimming. I try to make them practice twice a week. The irony is my husband and I cannot swim at all, but we know the importance of swimming. I'm still searching for a lady coach who can teach me during the weekdays. As for my husband I do not think he will ever swim since he will never have the courage to flaunt his body in a swimming trunk...

Rain Rain Go Away

2010-01-18T03:55:00.000-08:00

My husband and I seldom go to the night market. I especially do not like crowded places and therefore seldom found myself at these night markets. But yesterday, we decided to go to this pasar malam in order to buy some apam balik. My children love apam balik. After parking the car, we started walking through the market and suddenly it started to rain. No it was pouring to be exact.

I have no choice but to take shelter under one of the traders' flimsy do-it-yourself tent. The owner was kind enough to let us in, so to say. All the traders started to cover their wares with sheets of plastic, but those who sell foodstuff were quite unlucky. Some of the food were soaked wet. Children of the traders started to cry since they were hoarded into the vans without their parents. Everything and everybody were soaking wet except for us. The traders were praying out loud so that the rain will stop.

To me, the rain means that I do not have to water my plants, I will not be stuck with hot humid weather and definitely I can sleep better at night. But to these group of people, it means there will be no income to support their family, to put food on their tables. But during the half hour that I was there, they never complained about the rain, they only pray that it will stop.

So the rain stopped not exactly stop but light enough for me and my husband to walk away from our shelter to go and buy the apam balik for our children.

A Happy New Year

2010-01-01T04:52:00.000-08:00

It's that time of the year again. Time to make new resolutions and unfortunately break them time and time again. It has been a long time since I made any new year resolutions. I can only stick them for a very short period of time. So this year, instead of making new ones, I decided to make some wishes instead.

I wish that this new year and always will be filled with so much happiness. I wish to lose the extra pounds that I have and keep them away at all times. I wish my children will pass all their examinations with flying colours and I wish that they will have the will to study hard in order to do that. I wish to become a better person, a better wife, a better mother, a better daughter, sister, aunt and friend to my husband, children, father, nieces and nephews and also to my dearest friends. I wish to understand the Quran by the reading it more often[ that includes the translations too]. I wish to be a better muslim and be kind to everyone.

Above all, I wish Allah granted me the will power to be all the above. Without it, all the wishes will be just that..nothing more.

Happy New Year everyone

Retirement

2009-11-01T04:41:00.000-08:00

I have so much time in my hand now that my husband has retired from his job. He took over the driver's job [my former job] and since he likes to dust , he took over that too. After working for more than 30 years, he's all mine for now. But I wonder how long it will last. You see, my husband likes to work..literally. He's not only workaholic but he loves to work. So after a while [ 2 months exactly], he started to apply for other jobs.

But in Malaysia, it is not easy to get another job when you are above the age of 50. So he's applying for jobs abroad. There are so many of them. Hopefully he will get one soon. I love having him around the house since I do not have to drive to and fro to school, tuition etc.. But he misses work so much [ I can tell, after all I've been his wife for 28 years].

So now, we decided to call the computer room his office. He spent most of the morning there without any interruptions. This is where he marked all my children's workbooks, browse the net and even watch the stockmarket. The only difference is that he is wearing tshirt and kain pelikat instead of a shirt and a tie!!

Teoh's Death

2009-10-21T21:02:00.000-07:00

I for one, would very much like to know the outcome of Teoh Beng Hock's death. The reason he died and what actually causes his death. So many speculations have taken place and even the ongoing enquiries do not seem to satisfy my curiousity. Why a young man like him ended his life like that?

If he committed suicide, was it a split second decision? Can a person with so much going on for him did that? Or if indeed he was murdered, what was the motive for killing him? People just don't kill another for the fun of it. There must be a motive. Was it a first degree murder or a second degree case? The answers given by the famed Thais pathologist were even more perplexed. 80% homicide and 20% suicide. This was based on the reports and photographs of the deceased without the actual examining of the body. The Malaysian pathologists still think that Teoh took his own life.

How I wish the enquiry on his death is devoid of any form of politics. Politicians can make a mountain out of a molehill. Sometimes they are so emotional that they got caught up with it by not being objective. Let the authority do their jobs first. Do not undermine other people's credibility just because their answer do not meet your requirement. The sad thing is that Teoh's death is being made a political mileage by some people.

For coming winter months

2009-10-20T03:09:00.000-07:00

The winter months are coming. The news said that it is going to be a colder one than last year. It should not be of concern to me since I live in the tropics. But I'm worrying still because my son is living in the US. And he is cooking on his own and a terrible cook he is. When the weather is bad, I'm sure he's not going out to buy any groceries. Can he survive?

My advice is for him to stock on certain items so that he will not die kebuluran. Son, go and buy a lot of potatoes, eggs and mayonnaise. You can make baked potatoes, potato salad, fries, potato gratin...even bergedil. Don't forget to buy milk by the gallons. Cereals, biscuits and carrots too. You may think that I'm over concerned... after all this is his second winter. But last year, he had all his meals at the school cafeteria so I'm not worried at all.

Ask any mother, when they call their children..The first question will almost always be, ' dah makan?' right?..So I guess it's okay for me to worry.. knowing Nabil, he would rather curl up in bed than harrowing the snow to buy some groceries.. Stock up okay.

Will the JKR takes over?

2009-10-08T08:13:00.000-07:00

Last month, my husband called our developer asking the progress of our apartment. The one we bought almost 9 years ago. We have an on and off relationship with this particular developer. Just imagine after 9 longgggg years the answer that we got was that they are abandoning the project. The apartment as I see it is about 80% completed. They have sold the land adjacent to the apartment for 21 million dollars and yet they do not want to complete the project.

To their mind, completing the project will incur them losses. To me , this is business. You lose some and you gain some. If your overall business brings you profit, then a little loss is still okay. But no.. they do not want to incur any losses.
It is okay if their customers suffer losses but not them. I'm sure many buyers are in the same shoe as we are. How are we going to solve this? The banks expect us to pay the monthly installment, some of us still have to pay the rent of houses that we are staying in...for how long?

Will the government help us? Can we sue the developer for breach of contract? To me, these developers have the criminal intent to not complete the project. Hence can we sue them for criminal breach of contract? To blacklist them will be the least of their concern, since they will set up another company using a different name and have proxies who act on their behalf. Time and time again they will do this and nothing is done to punish them.

I have a suggestion.. do like the Chinese government do. These people will have to face the firing squad. I know it is harsh. But the lives of thousands also have been harsh due to their doings. And if you do not have any money to develop a project and complete them, by all means.. don't be in business. The JKR can take over the completion of all abandoned projects to help the purchasers. Instead of monitoring these developers, the JKR should develop and complete the projects. The government can liase with the banks to pay for the progresive payment and I'm sure the buyers will be grateful to the government. Any projects that have not been completed after lets say 6 years should be taken over by the government.

The funny thing is that most projects that have been abandoned are mostly low to medium cost projects. We hardly ever heard of expensive projects being abandoned... maybe a few that involved the vacant land. Please do something otherwise we will have imbalance in the social standing.. the poor becomes poorer and the rich becomes richer and richer.

What should I do?

2009-10-01T06:24:00.000-07:00

I hope I'm not too late ..wishing all my readers a happy Eid Mubarak, maaf zahir batin. It's been a long, long time since I wrote in my column/blog. So many things had happened since, some good and some not so good. Whatever it is, I have to accept everything with an open heart.

This is the second raya we celebrate without my son . He's away studying and will only be coming back for holidays next year. Two of my very dear friends lost their husbands during the ramadhan. My aunt had a mastectomy just before fasting and I found out only after raya. And today my close friend called to tell me that she has the cancer too. How should I comfort her in times like this?

How can I pretend that everything is alright when it is not? What should I say to her? What's the right words? How can I be of help? What if she refuse any help?What should I do? She, herself ,had just lost a sister a few months ago to cancer..

My prayers go to her. I hope she will be strong in fighting this. I hope Allah will grant her courage and strength to face this adversity. I hope the cancer will go away after the chemotherapy. At this moment, that's the only thing I can do...HOPE.

Show Me The Money

2009-06-11T01:08:00.000-07:00

Many Malaysians have migrated to other countries for a variety of reasons. Those who have stayed behind stated brain drain, better and fairer deals by the host countries as some of the obvious reasons. The grass, of course looks greener on the other side. The funny thing is that those who have migrated never fail to keep in touch with those whom they had left behind. And most often than not, they kept coming back 'home'.

If a firm offers you a better package, be it a local or overseas firm, would you take up the offer? If the firm happens to be in another country, would you impose on your present firm to match the offer? If they can't match the offer would you take the overseas offer and give the reason for leaving your present firm as brain drain? We as employees always expect our employers to counter offer when we get another offer from another firm. I for one second would not believe that we left because we can no longer contribute in the most effective way. There are always ways to contribute for the betterment of the firm. No, we left for the money. It's always, 'Show Me the Money' that counts. Those that can offer will get my service. Period.

So years after staying abroad, you finally want to come home for good. You have made your millions due to the exchange rate. And you feel you still can contribute to your country... Why now? Why not before when you are still young and energetic? Why now when you are old and less energetic? And when no local companies can match what you want, you put brain drain as the reason for not coming back. How absurd! The company cannot 'Show you the Money' that's why you don't want to come back. Sometimes, it's your pride. Friends whom you have left behind are now holding important posts. How can you serve under them? So please Mr. Politicians do not harp on brain drain issues. It just won't work. You show me the money and I will sign on the dotted lines.....

A Matter of Taste

2009-06-10T22:16:00.000-07:00

I am not a fussy eater. By that, I meant..I eat whatever is served { everything halal, of course}. If the food is nice I will give compliments, if not, I'll just keep quiet. That's what was taught by my dad. To my dad, the cook has done his best preparing for the meal so it does not make sense to criticize his effort. Of course this does not include for the food that we pay for.

That is why sometimes I cannot understand why some people like to cirticize on others' cooking. To me, one's man meat might be another man's poison and vice versa. It is a matter of taste. The same goes for beauty. Otherwise we can never understand why a handsome man marry an ugly lady or an ugly man has a beautiful wife. Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder.

A handsome man can be ugly if his character is unbecoming or perhaps he likes to lie. An ugly man will not be so ugly if he is caring, attentive and very nice to be with. In the end, it's not the look that counts but the person's characters.In my life, I've met so many beautiful girls with not so handsome husbands and they are very happy. My daughter's friend asked me a question ages ago....

Daughter's friend : 'What do you look for in a son-in-law?'

Me : 'Full of responsibility'

Daughter's friend : 'Is that all?'

Me : 'Yes'.
' If he is responsible, he knows how to take care of himself and his family. He
knows how to provide for his wife and family. He knows how to treat his
wife and family. He knows what is bad and what is good for his wife and his
family'.

Daughter's friend : ' A simple one answer that meant so much'

Me : ' You are right'.

Some people look for different things in a person or food. Some goes for tall, dark and handsome thing. Some crave for dessert and ice cream. Some goes for the rich and famous and some cannot live without eating rice everyday. It is just a matter of taste and what is more important to you.

For The Better For The Worse For The Cheapest..

2009-06-10T19:44:00.000-07:00

I am sure most first time overseas travellers experienced this. The moment you want to buy something, you tend to convert the price to Malaysian Ringgit. If you are in Indonesia or Thailand, whoa... you have a good deal.. or in any other countries that the currencies are lower than Malaysian Ringgit. But when you are in USA or Britain, you tend to think twice...no, not twice but many times over before you start to depart with your money.Sometimes you ended up not buying anything at all.

But if you were to stay in these so called expensive countries and earn in their currencies, you will realise that their cost of living is much lower. Let's say you are earning RM3,000 a month in Malaysia and the equivalent US$3,000 in USA. You are buying a ' Kitchenaid' mixer. In Malaysia, you will have to fork out more than RM3,000 for it, whereas in USA you will only pay around US$300. You may say that this is an imported product, therefore it is very expensive.. but most of the mixers in our country are imported therefore they are quite expensive. Perhaps the lower range may be cheaper but still you have to pay around 10% of your salary to own it. And yet in USA , you pay 10%of your salary for a better product.

How I wish our government stop comparing prices in other countries by converting it to Malaysian Ringgit.In Singapore, the price of gas is around S$1.53/litre [6 months ago], that is around RM 3.67/litre [ 1.53 x 2.4 exchange rate] which is very expensive compared to Malaysia. But if we are earning in Singapore dollars and paying in Singapore dollars, the price of gas is still cheaper if you know what I mean. In Singapore, we are paying S$0.35/hour for parking in a shopping complex along the Orchard Road, how much do we have to pay for parking in KLCC? It definitely costs less to park in Orchard Road. So.. it does not make sense to me if our government say that the cost of living in Malaysia is cheaper compared to other countries. To me, it is only cheaper if you are earning , let's say in Singapore dollars and paying in Malaysian Ringgit.

That is why I am totally against building a new bridge linking Singapore to Malaysia since it only helps Malaysians who are earning Singapore dollars, paying Singapore taxes but lives in Malaysia for cheaper cost of living. Mind you, these Malaysians do not pay taxes to the Malaysian government and yet have the cheek to ask our government to use taxpayers money to make life much better for them. Does it make any sense to you? Well, these Malaysian can't have their cakes and eat them too. And do not say that they are helping in the Malaysian economy as an excuse.

You can give it a different name, it still comes from the same animal

2009-06-04T21:24:00.000-07:00

With more and more people getting the influenza A, I am getting more and more worried about my son , Nabil. If he is studying in the Mid West, I will not be this worried.. But his school is just 10 minutes away from the Big Apple. I have advised him to stay away from crowded places and eat a lot of fruits and vegetables. But this is summertime and I don't think he likes to be confined in his room or summer classes. I can only hope that nothing untoward happens to him.

Swine was created to clear Noah's Ark from all the wastes produced by humans and animals. The sheer functions of swine should make us wary from being close to them whatmore eating them. If we human stays away from them, they will be confined to the forest, far away from human contacts. Then we will not have SARS, Influenza A or that sickness that happened in Negri Sembilan[ JE, I think].

Now, the Health Authority found out that Influenza A can also be transmitted by water not only by air. This is due to the fact that those infected with it , 25% of them suffered from diarrhoea.
As I am writing, there are already 5 influenza A cases in Malaysia. All were imported cases and I hope there will not be any human to human case here. If the WHO do not imposed a ban on travelling from one country to another, I doubt there will be a decrease in this disease. At least what The World Health Organization should do is to prevent persons with this flu from travelling out of the country. The thermal scanners should be placed at entry and disembarkation points.

In the mean time, my son has to give this summer a miss.

Wedding Headaches

2009-06-02T22:05:00.000-07:00

Wedding invitations kept on coming these last few days. My weekends were filled with lunch and dinner receptions.. be it at home, community halls and hotels. Weddings can be very expensive affairs if you are on the ladies' sides. The brides normally have to host the engagement ceremonies, the 'nikah' ceremonies and also the wedding receptions. These can range between tens of thousands to maybe a hundred thousands depending on how elaborate the weddings are.

No matter how grand or small the weddings might be, nothing is perfect. Said one celebrity wedding planner, 'if you want a perfect wedding, do not come to me'. How true..I have yet to see a perfect wedding. Like a friend said during her daughter's wedding, 'what you see might be perfect but the actual scene behind it might not'.

I remember during Nadia's wedding, how some of my friends like the band so much. But until today, Nadia was extremely upset since the band did not play her songs at all. The right songs were not played when the couple walked in and during the cake cutting ceremony. The band even started to pack up when the couple cut their cake.My husband and I decided that for our children's future wedding, we are not going to hire any band, instead we are going to use the CDs. But then again we have to make sure the one who is playing the CDs has to know which songs to be played and when.

I sometimes wonder how some caterers can cook good food and some can't. The host paid a substantial amount of money for food. At least the caterers should have some decency to provide nice and tasty food. 'Ayam masak merah' should taste like ayam masak merah not something else. You only have to put nice amount of salt, sugar and vinegar into it. Not..so much salt , a bit of sugar and a lot of vinegar. Then ayam masak merah is not ayam masak merah anymore. Worst still, the guests cannot eat it. And then.. there are not so fresh ingredients.. I pity these hosts, not only their money not well spent and also there are food down the drains.

How I wish that weddings can be a lot simpler. Why not? instead of inviting 500 to 700 hundreds guests, we should only invite those who are really close to us. 100 to 250 guests would be nice and a lot easier to handle. My auntie has a ground rule; those that you have not seen for more than 5 to 10 years should not be invited. We can always forego the engagement ceremony or perhaps combine it with the nikah ceremony. After all, the same people are going to be invited for both occasions, right?

Well, I hope I still have a long time to go before preparing the next wedding in our family. Nabil is just 20 and I hope I will not get any phone calls saying,' Ma, I want to get married', so soon...

Scholarships oh scholarships

2009-05-26T03:21:00.000-07:00

It's that time of the year again.. When almost those who were rejected by PSD for scholarships cried foul of the system. Who can blame them? They have worked so hard for their SPM exams and yet the prestigious scholarship eluded them. No amount of explaination will help them understand that they were not entitled to the scholarships.

I remember two years ago when my son was granted a scholarship to study abroad. He felt so guilty that two of his close friends did not get them. Especially when their results were better than his. He had no other explaination except that he had done better than them during the interviews.My son deserves the scholarship. He scored 5 As for UPSR, 8 As for PMR and 10 As for his SPM. What my son gets is not actually a scholarship. It is a convertible study loan. If he does very well in his studies, the loan will be converted to scholarship.

I think the government should give out convertible loans instead of scholarships. Only students who have the determination to do well in their studies will not be put off by the conditions set by the sponsors. Then we will see less of these bright students applying for loans since they have to pay back if they do not do well in their studies. And for information, the PSD scholarships are actually for studying locally first, in preparation for future studies abroad. Those who do not meet the sponsors' requirement will not be sent abroad. Normally, very few were left behind.

The government perhaps has considered not to send every top students abroad. Some were offered to study locally so as to improve the standards of education in the local universities. We heard often enough from some politicians that the standard of education in the local universities is lower than expected. So without us realising it, that was what the government is doing ...not to send every bright student abroad.

There are of course other scholarships being offered by other sponsors. Asean scholarships, STAR Education funds, Sime Darby, Petronas, Bank Negara etc. If these students are very good as they claimed, I'm sure they have no problems in getting other scholarships since the requirement for other scholarships are much stricter/higher than the PSD scholarships.

Names for Grandparents

2009-05-26T02:00:00.000-07:00

At this age, some of my friends had already grand titles. I'm not talking about Puan Sri's or Datins but grandmothers. My eldest daughter got married almost a year ago and the frequent questions that people asked me are... when I'm going to have a grandchild. Even my younger children kept asking me and their sister...when..

My husband too, surprisingly, had been looking around for baby crib. He told his daughter that he is going to sponsor the crib. I could only look at him with disbelief. Nadia is not even pregnant and he is so excited over nothing. What if it takes her almost 2 years before she gets pregnant like me or 4 years like her late auntie? Or 6 years like my friend, Rajinder?

So, what will my future grandchildren address me?My children address my parents as Atuk and Nenek, my husband's parents as Tok Wan and Tok Tok. Yes , Tok Tok. My sister-in-law calls herself as Nek Ma and her husband as We Pa [ him being a kelantanese, the Wan becomes We].
There are a lot of other names that grandparents can called themselves. A friend of mine was contemplating calling herself Lola [ grandmother in filipino] and has been urging me to call myself that when I have a grandchild. I guess calling myself Lola would not make me feel so old.
Well, in the mean time, Nadia has to get pregnant first before I crack my head for my future title. Lola... not bad.. Her name was Lola.. she was a showgirl.. Oh! No...

p/s To Fatimah azzahra,
Congratulations for your recent graduations. Good luck and best wishes for your future undertakings. May Allah bless you always.

Don't Be Sad

2009-05-20T23:23:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine recommended a book to me. I managed to get hold of the book and had started reading it. Normally I could finish a book within days, depending on how interesting the book is. There's however this one book I could not finish until now. It's not really that thick but I somehow get myself confused after reading around 20 to 30 pages. Maybe you have read the book... One hundred years of solitude {I hope the title is right} I really admire those who have read the book, ...really.

Coming back to the book that was recommended by my friend. The title is Don't Be Sad by 'Aaidh ibn Abdullah al-Qarni. I highly recommend this book to all of you. It is a translated version from Arabic. You have to somehow reflect on the topics written in this book to make it more meaningful. Try to absorb everything and apply it to your everyday life. Every household should have it and tell your children about this book. I am really thankful to my friend for recommending this book to me.... Happy reading.

Life in Ward U13A

2009-05-13T18:39:00.000-07:00

Finally, after 30 days in the hospital, my dad has been discharged. Alhamdulillah, he is fine. Hopefully, he'll be able to walk on his own soon. I have nothing but a lot of thanks to the nurses, doctors and the staff of Ward U13A.

Life in ward U13A has been a humbling experience. In the first one week, my dad has lost 3 roommates. We, the children, tried to comfort each other during this trying times. No matter how old we are, losing a parent is very painful. I saw small children crying for their father and I saw older children crying for theirs too. We cannot but feel their pain too.

Here, in ward U13A, I saw kindness from all walks of life. An old Indian lady gave donations to a widow that she never knew. A Malay lady helped a Chinese patient whenever the children were not around. We were comforted with the thoughts that the few hours we left our parents, the children and the spouse of other patients will look after them. If that not kindness, I do not know what is.

Of course, there were good and not so good patients. To me, the not so good patients couldn't help it. The frustration of having to depend on another human being for your daily needs can be a daunting experience. These patients just could not take it. I'm sure when they are healthy, they are a different kind of persons. Then , there was this patient who always put a smile on my face. Whenever he wants to sleep, he will ask his children or maid to whisk him around in his wheelchair. I called him the baby of the ward. It didn't matter to him whether it's 4 o'clock in the evening or 4 o'clock at night. Just like a baby.

Days after life in ward U13A, I realised that Allah makes everything in pairs. Not just men and women, but life and death, sickness and well, sadness and happiness, poor and rich etc., etc... I am thankful with what Allah has blessed me....

My Dad

2009-04-13T05:38:00.000-07:00

My notebook decided to have a long extended holidays that's why I have not written for sometime. The last few days have been very hectic to me. Normally I try to stay from writing on personal things but today I decided to do otherwise. My dad is very very sick. He's in the hospital now fighting for his life.... He was first brought into the resuscitation unit because he was unconcious. His lungs were infected due to backflow of vomit. The doctor suspected that he had a mild stroke. Alhamdulillah he was not after the CT scan. He had internal bleeding and his blood refused to clot. Alhamdulillah he responded well to the antibiotics.

One thing lead to another... there's blood in his urine, his kidneys were inflammed. And just now my brother said he's having fever again. My dad is in the highly dependency unit, where there's cctv, doctors and nurses 24/7. The doctors asked us whether we want to resuscitate him if his heart fails. We are talking about my dad, who bathed me until I was 10 years old. The one who never failed to write when I was in the boarding school. The one who put a mattress next to the bed since I had the habit of falling off the bed in the middle of the night. The one with my mom who prayed three days and three nights when I almost died giving birth to my first child.
They never told me but I found out from my mom's best friend.

What am I doing here at home when my dad is in the hospital? My youngest son is having a high fever. For the last two days his older sister was looking after him while I was in the hospital. I am home since I have to make sure that he's taking proper meal after his fever subsides. And I know my dad wants me to stay at home today to look after his grandson. If I were to be by his side he would have chased me out of the room to go home to be with my son. That's my dad. Please pray for him.

Writing Essays

2009-03-07T19:32:00.000-08:00

Writing essays for school assignment has to follow certain scheme. If you deviate from the scheme you will not get any marks. When you are asked to write on a topic ' My Doll', you have to write on the features, how pretty it is, the colour of the hair, eyes.. along those lines. So when Sarah wrote that her doll talked and walked at night, she didn't get good marks for it. The same went when she wrote on a banana tree. She didn't get good marks since her banana tree had magical powers. And it didn't come as a surprise when she got a B for English in her UPSR exams.

A girl wrote on a life of a Papa water, Mama water and Baby water facing pollution in a river. The title of the essay was Water Pollution. It was for English paper in SPM exams. The teacher who marked the paper gave her an A. So did the Cambridge Exams Syndicate. She deviated from the scheme but the examiners had good sense to give her an A. Her English was very good.This is what creative writing is all about. And thank goodness that she was not penalised for it. These students must have read a lot and their minds work wonders for them. To me this differentiate a best student from the good ones where creative writing is concerned.

I can still recall a friend of mine wrote for an essay entitled 'My Future Husband'. I can't remember the exact words but something along this lines....

'My future husband must have the look of Robert Redford, the seriousness of Abraham Lincoln, the mind of Albert Einstein and the voice of Gilbert O'Sullivan'. How's that for a future husband?

A complaint free world

2009-03-05T22:20:00.000-08:00

I was watching the Oprah Show this morning, and found the issue ' A complaint free world' very refreshing. A pastor was trying to make his followers to abstain from complaining. I am really impressed with what he's trying to do. Please go to AFreeComplaintWorld.org for more details.

Many of us cannot stop from complaining. We complained about the government, the education, our salary, food, children etc. etc. etc. The list is endless. Enough said that if anything does not go our way, we tend to complain. Has anybody done a study on the corelation between complaints and happiness? The more complaints we make the unhappier we are? or vice versa? And has any study been done on the corelation between complaints and the type of person we are? More complaints are being made by pessimists than optimists? I'm sure the findings will be interesting. Who are the people who hardly complained? Are they rich? Are they contented with life? Are they so complacent that they do not care? Are there nothing to complain about?

From my observation, those who complained a lot must be very unhappy. They can't stand the success of others and did nothing about theirs. I would guess that it's better to give suggestion than to complain. At least we can work out the problems and nobody will complain anymore.

For a start I will try to stop from complaining, one day at a time. I have a lot to be grateful for.

ALL I WANT.....

2009-03-04T20:23:00.000-08:00

What I want from the government of the day..

is not much.

Just a simple quality of life.

The very basic necessities that I am entitled...

as the citizen of the world.

All I want..

When I wake up in the morning,

A breath of fresh air awaits me..

Not the smell of rotting rubbish uncollected for several days..

Not the burnt smell that pollutes the air..

Just a simple breath of fresh air..

for me to start the day.

All I want..

When I left my home for the day,

My home is safe and sound at the end of the day..

Not the fear of being mugged along the way,
Not the many potholes on the road surface,
Not the many traffic jams or the hike in transportation fares

Not the many accidents that happened everyday..

Just a simple safety

That's all I ask for today...

All I want..
When I get sick and cannot get out of my bed,
A free and reasonable healthcare
is suffice to make me better again.
Not the overtired doctors during my stay
Not the exorbitant charges that won't make my headache go away...
Just a simple smile, a great healthcare
to make me healthy and wise again...

All I want...
When I have to pay to support my living,
A simple low cost is all you have to bring..
Not the high price of houses and cars,
Not the high cost of simple necessities that life has to give,
Especially not the brown water that comes out of my tap,
And not the high cost of education
for generations to come..
Just a simple low cost of living
To make me happy and not scrimping like this...

All I want...
When I elect the government of my choice,
It is not for you to rejoice and bask in glory..
But to take this responsibilty upon yourself
to make life good for everybody else..
Not to bicker among yourself,
Not to think, power is all you care..
Not to think thou is hollier than everbody else,
Not to succumb to bribery, corruption and the world evils
Not to riot, lying on the street or a meeting under a tree..

You are just the government of the day
Grant my wishes
That's all I care.....

Mottoes in Life

2009-03-03T22:43:00.000-08:00

I asked my son, Imran about his school's motto the other day. He does not know . So I checked his school badge and found the words, Berilmu, Berakhlak, Berjasa printed on it. Three words..three powerful words that can changed a person's life if he or she chooses to follow it. Not many of us can remember our school motto. I for one cannot recall it at all. And I failed to find it at my school's website. I have to ask my school friends about it.

I like my husband's school's motto. 'Accomplish or Do not begin'. My husband can remember it, the minute I asked him. He told me that every student during his time were required to know the meaning of the motto. He once told me that he tries his best whenever he's doing something just like the motto says. To me a motto says a lot about a school, an organization, a company or the people in the organization.

So when the police came up with 'Saya Anti Rasuah', I was not amused or proud of it. Do not tell me if those policemen who did not have the 'saya anti rasuah',badge, they are pro-bribery.Policemen are supposed to be anti bribery. They do not have to wear a badge to remind them on bribery. They were recruited to fight briberies not to live on it. Zero Crime .. that should be the motto. The same thing goes to the government's offices which put up the 'Buat Kerja' banner. What a mockery. You are supposed to do your job. You are hired to do your job. Nobody should remind you to do your job. I do not know where to hide my face if the banners were put up all over my office. Luckily I do not have an office.

Everyone should have a motto. Just to remind us in case we deviate.Mine... whatever happens, I have myself, I will make it a good and happy self.

Love Songs

2009-03-02T04:20:00.000-08:00

Some of us have songs that reminds us of that special someone of days gone by. You cannot help but remember that someone whenever the song is played on air. When you are young and in love, songs like 'your song', 'I'm yours', 'I blessed the day [I found you]' and 'You light up my life', filled up your days and nights. Both of you shared this beautiful songs and often sang together.

But when love gone wrong, songs like 'feeling', 'sorry seems to be the hardest word', 'I'll survive' and 'unbreak my heart', will help you make it through the night. It formed some sort of therapy for your broken soul. Funny thing, it does work. You will cry your heart out whenever you hear those songs. It was as if the songs were written for you. Little that you know that love songs often make you cry.

I too have a song that reminds me of that special someone. Whenever I hear it, it would bring tears to my eyes. The song,' Wind beneath my wings' by Bette Midler, reminds me of my mom. The lyrics were exactly how I felt for my mom.

....... 'you never knew that you're my hero,
You're everything I want to be...
I can fly high like an eagle
You are the wind beneath my wings.....'

Downsizing your lifestyle

2009-02-26T05:44:00.000-08:00

Many companies due to the financial crisis, started to downsize everything. Be it their business or number of employees, it is always the employees who suffer most. They are the first to take the pay cut, the first to work less hours and the first to lose their jobs. And when the economy recovers, they are not the ones who can easily get another job. With mouths to feed and loans to pay, life is not easy for them. Like it or not, we too have to downsize in our own ways. The same goes to those who are about to retire, since the monthly income will be reduced to half [for those civil servant] or nothing except some EPF money [for those in private sectors].

It is easier for the civil servants since they more or less get their pension every month without fail. For those who depends on the EPF will have to make their money work for them and it is not an easy thing to do.With the poor interest rates offered by the banks and the long life span after retirement age, these retirees have nothing to shout about.

I can only think some of the ways to make retirement easier for the retirees. DOWNSIZE. Downsize your house, your car and expenses. If you stay in a big house, sell it. Buy a small one. after all, there's only the two of you {in most cases}. With the extra money left after selling and buying, it can make life a bit easier. Sell your big car, buy a smaller one... after all your children wouldn't tag along , now that they are bigger. You will be paying a smaller loan installment for a smaller car. You save money again. Take care of your health, exercise more and pray that you will not get serious illness. That will save money.

If you are used to travelling first class, now it is the time to switch to economy class. And when your previous travelling involved the economy class, you should be thinking of travelling with AirAsia or RyanAir. Downsize you hotel room from 5 star to 3 or 4 stars. I know it is easier said than done. Especially when we got caught up with status and egos. But think of your survival for the next 20 to 30 years, then you'll think twice about spending your money freely. Do not care what others will say, it's your life. Nobody know better than you whether you can afford your lifestyle. I for one will be trading my bigger car for a smaller one next month. Happy downsizing.

good advice to pass on

2009-02-26T00:50:00.000-08:00

Have you had any advices given to you? Those that you hold close to your heart and try to give your best to follow them? These are advices that you want your children to heed as they go through life. I had a few of them. Some were given to me by my parents, my teachers, friends and I have one that was given by someone I hardly knew.

When I was growing up, my abah told me, 'You have only one chance in your life, so you better make full use of it'. Only one chance, either you make it or you break it. That simple advice made me what I am today. With that advice, I know if I screwed up, there's no way of turning back. So I made sure that I passed my exams with flying colours at one sitting. I failed once but I picked up the pieces and learned from my mistake. It saddened me when some students did not study hard after given the opportunity to study overseas or locally. They have this chance in their hands and they blew it.

After I got married, my abah said this to me, ' The minute your husband walks out of the house to go to work, he is no longer your husband'. Imagine that! I'm his daughter and he said that to me. This is one tough advice to follow. Little did I know the real meaning behind it at that time. Over the years I understood what my father was trying to say to me. It was of no surprise when my daughter, Nadia, got married, I gave her the same advice. Well, my sons, I have this to say when you get married. 'The minute you get out of the house to go to work, please remember that you still have one foot left behind'.

Never ever expect anything from anyone. This advice almost always keep me on my toes. It tells me that bribery is a sin. I am to work hard for things that I want. Do not expect a thank you after you have done something or give anything. This way you know that what you have done is 'ikhlas'. There's no need to tell the world that you have done this and that. At the end of the day you know that you don't owe anyone and nobody owes you anything.

I still have a lot more advices that I want to pass on. Not only to my children but to those who are reading my blog. I will only be too happy if any of the advices will help you in any small way. I'll be writing more on this in my future blog. In the meantime, pass it on.. that's what we do to good advice..pass it on.

Kita Lupa

2009-02-23T19:02:00.000-08:00

I've been trying to write something in Malay. My Bahasa Melayu was so poor that I can't even teach my son. The last time I wrote something meaningful was in 1974 - my SPM exam. Well I got an A2 for it. Since then I have not practised it much except for the daily conversations that I have with my children. Even that , it will be intersperse with English. I am more comfortable

with the English Language. So, I'll try writing this next topic in Malay.

Kemanakah hilangnya kesopanan orang Melayu?. Sejak kecil kita di ajar untuk menghormati satu sama lain. This value amongst others were taught to us when we were small. We were asked to bend our body whenever we walked in front of those older than us. We waited for our parent to eat dinner first before we start eating ours. We never finish whatever on the plate so that others after us have something to eat. We were taught never to interupt the conversations of others. We were told to wait for our turn. We were told not to raise our voice, to speak softly when voicing our opinion. We were told not to humiliate others in public, scold them if you want but never to humiliate.

What has happened to all these values? Please do not tell me, you have forgotten it all. It disgusts me when I saw what had happened in Perak. Only the Malays were seen lying on the roads blocking the cars. Only the Malays were shouting refusing the orders of the police. And to add insult to all these, it was done after a Friday prayer. Se elok-eloknya selepas solat, kita keluar mencari rezeki, selepas solat kita sepatutnya lebih tenang tidak marah-marah. Jadi kemanakah hilangnya ..kesopanan kita pada waktu itu? Is this the legacy we want our children to follow? Are we weak if we do not demonstrate against the rulers? Our prophet would never condone to such behaviour. Menang sorak tapi kampung tergadai. And the best thing was none of the leaders were there.

Memang betul kata Dr. Mahathir, Melayu mudah lupa. Kita mudah lupa pada segala-galanya. Kita lupa apa yang telah diajar oleh ibubapa kita apatah lagi perkara yang di ajar oleh guru, kawan dan saudara kita. Kita mudah sangat lupa. Apabila kita menjadi kaya dan ternama kita lupa yang satu masa dulu kita pernah miskin, tidak punya apa-apa. Terlalu susahkah kita menghormati orang lain, yang kurang dari kita? Terlalu payahkah kita merendahkan suara kita apabila memarahi pekerja-pekerja kita? Terlalu tinggikah mertabat kita sehingga tidak dapat menerima pendapat-pendapat orang lain? Kita lupa yang dunia ini sentiasa berputar. Hari ini kita di atas, hari esok kita belum tahu lagi. Orang yang kita hina hari ini mungkin akan jadi seseorang yang kita perlukan di hari muka. Pernah dulu bangsa kita di anggap bangsa yang malas. Sanggupkah kita sekarang ini menjadi bangsa yang mudah lupa?

2009-02-17T22:20:00.000-08:00

Sex Education is never an easy subject to teach our children. Wow, here I am , writing a subject that was considered a taboo many years ago. Frankly, there's no other way of teaching this except to go straight to the point. When my daughters reached the age of 11, I told them about puberty and the birds and the bees. No, no, no. I told you. It's not an easy subject to teach our children. I told my two girls about monthly menstruation and told them that under no circumtances anyone should touch their private parts. How's that? Of course they started laughing at me. Nobody can blame them, they were only 11 when I told them separately. The 'no touching' part goes on and on until they were 15 to 16 years old.

I took for granted that my husband will teach the boys.. So when Nabil was eleven, I asked my husband that part of education was due. He took Nabil for supper at the mamak's stall for his sex education. When they came home, I asked my husband about it. He told me there was nothing said during supper. He just didn't know how to start, so they just ate their supper quitely. I had to take over, my husband said. In Nabil's case it was easier since his ustaz had started the education in school.

So during my children's teenage years, I included other things like moral values, pre=marital sex, etc as part and parcel of their sex education. I even included the functions of condoms to one of my children. Call me modern but I'm not. I am still very conservative about certain things in life. There should never be any pre-marital sex, no extra-marital sex, no homosexualism. Not only those activities are against most of the religions in the world, but the bottom line is these activities will disintegrate the family institution.

So when Miss Elizabeth Wong was caught with 'compromising photos', it is not her privacy that is in question here. What she does in her bedroom is her business, no question about it. But once it become public knowledge, she has a responsibilty to take. I for one would not want a leader who takes moral responsibility so lightly. We are Asians so full of culture and traditions. Her actions promote pre-marital sex to the youngters. As a parent I do not condone that. I think most parents do not either. So she made the right decision to let go her position. Nobody should stop her not even in the name of politics.

The saddest thing was that even her Muslim friends backed her up, knowing fully well that her actions are punishable by the Islamic Laws. Where are your principles, people?

money money money

2009-02-16T02:16:00.000-08:00

According to Suze Orman in one of her shows, if you can't pay your credit card in full at the end of the month, that means you cannot afford to buy anything. Think for a moment.. how true it is.Decades ago, only a person with high income will be granted a credit card. It is not the same today. Fresh graduates can easily get credit cards once they started working. It is okay if you can control your spending and pay all your purchases at the end of the month. But how many young people can control the temptations of making purchases on the things that they want? Not many I'm afraid.

So, how do you teach your children the value of money? It is easy if you come from a poor family. Parents can easily teach their children that they have to be careful with their spending since they have little money to spend. But not so easy if you have money to spend. Nowadays children are so lucky. Some if not most, were born when their parents could already afford to have a house and a car. What the parents could not have during their time, they tend to make it up with their chilldren. Our children nowadays have monthly allowances, without having to do any chores. Money is easy to come by. This lead to them not respecting the value of money. So the credit cards problems crop up.

My youngest son said to me on his first day to school, ' mama, you do not have to give me any pocket money. I already have a million dollars', showing me his one dollar note. At his age I never thought that I have that much money, so how could he? I took it that children says the darnest thing less he thought that I have a lot of money. My eldest daughter used to be spendthrift during her school days, but that changed when she left home for her university studies. I told her to always save some of her allowances for rainy days. This habit of saving continues even after she started working 3 years ago. A wise man once told me,' A rich man is someone who has a lot of saving, not someone who earns a lot'. This culture of saving should be inculcated in our children since they are young. Let them use their own money to buy things.
Let them know the value of money when they are young than to have no respect for money when they are older.

To give your children the best

2009-02-16T01:41:00.000-08:00

Every parent wants to give the best to their children. They want to give the best education, material things, spouse and everything else. Who can blame them? Sometimes, what is best to the parents, might not be the best for the children. I have a friend who has everything, so to speak, but he told me that he loves his maid more than he loves his mother. Of course the mother doesn't know this. He was in his early twenties when he told me almost 30 years ago. As far as I can remember, at that time it is not often to find a mother who is working fulltime.

. My late sister-in-law had a friend who insisted that her son took up medicine. When he graduated from Med School, he handed his degree to his parents saying this, "This is for you. Now I'm going to do what I want". The parents were speechless. Children nowadays have their own plans and dreams. We as parents only have to be there to encourage and lead them. Let them make their own mistakes in their lives. Help put their lives back together after failures.

As a parent , I know it's hard to watch your children make the same mistakes that you made years ago. You cannot be too protective over your children. Otherwise your children will not be resilient when they face hard times. What you can do is to provide your children the necessary advice, words of wisdom and guidance to face whatever challenges that lie ahead. When any untoward event happens, we can only pray that our children have the strength and courage to face the obstacles and come out strong and wiser. Then you know you have given the best to your children.

Rule of Thumb

2009-02-12T01:37:00.000-08:00

As a rule of thumb, if you can't pay your car loan within 3 years [ yes 3 years], you can't afford to have a car. How many of us have car loans for more than 5 years? I'm sure most of us have 5 years to pay for our vehicle loans. When I first have my car, the loan was for 5 years, then it was extended to 7 years. Nowadays, it is not uncommon to have it for 9 years. I would think most of us Malaysians cannot afford to have cars. It's amazing that we have so many cars on the road and most of us cannot afford them.

I do not know the rule for having housing loans. I'm sure I can't afford a house if the same rule applies. Of course, for a housing loan it can't be for 3 years, but nevertheless it can't be for 25 years either. The rule is there for us to follow so that we will not be caught in a financial mess. The banks give us easy loans so that they can make money out of us. Just imagine how much money they make from us for the extra 2, 4 and 6 years loan?

The next thing that came to my mind is.. if we can't afford to buy a car, don't buy it. With a low or zero down payment, we are so tempted to buy something that we can't afford. Well, if you must buy a car, then you have to save and have at least 50% deposit before you can afford it. The same goes for houses. The banks would not like it and certainly most of us too. Who are you to tell me that I can't buy a car or a house? Well, as I have said earlier, it's a rule of thumb but as always rules are meant to be broken. It's okay if you are not caught.. if you are caught then you have to face the music..

Quality versus Quantity

2009-02-11T19:24:00.000-08:00

A lot has been said about parenting. To bring up a child in this world is not an easy thing. A working mom knows the challenges ahead are far from easy. The stay-at-home mom too faces the same challenges. How do you be a good parent? There is no easy answer to this simple question. Then came the verse above... Quality versus Quantity, that's how we should do it.

There is no one single phrase that can justify how we should bring up our kids. We are talking about someone with thoughts and feelings here, not just some products created in some factories. Quality time is always good, there's no denying about it. Quality time is good when everything else is constant. We spend time reading to our children, do homework together, shopping and holidaying together. We talk to our children, maybe solve a problem or two.... within an hour or a few minutes a day. Tell me frankly, how much time do you spent with your child after coming back from your work? We must remember the negative elements that are lurking around to influence your child. So here comes the quantity part. The more time you spend with your children, the less negative elements will influence your children.

How this is so? Well, you get to control what programme your children watch, the books that are read, their whereabouts and who their friends are. You are there when they need you the most. This is what I really call the quality time. And it can only be done when you have the quantity.
When your child fell in the school bus, the only face that he wants to see is yours. You are there to comfort him once he get off the bus. When bad things happened in school, playground and the fields, you are there to comfort them when they get home. So are the happier moments. When your child takes his first step, you can call your husband or wife at the exact moment to let them know and share the moment. No maid will do that for you. When your child is excited about some tv programmes , you are there to share it with him. You are there to explain things to him without having to wait for you coming back from the office. Of course, there are always telephones/mobile to call you if you are not around. But is it the same? It's not the same but close enough.

Do we as parent have the choice between quality and quantity? Lucky for those who have both the quantity time and the quality time to spend with their children. For those who do not have the quantity, its good enough that you spend quality time with children rather than nothing at all. Just hope that those negative influences have less effect on your children.

A trip to Singapore, CIQ and all

2009-02-05T22:54:00.000-08:00

The last time I went to Singapore was ages ago. So when my husband suggested that we go there for the long weekend, everybody was excited. It was a first trip abroad to some members of the family. We planned to spend the nights in JB and daytime in S'pore. The journey to JB was uneventful. As we reached JB, I can't believe my eyes....how it had changed. Before reaching our hotel, my husband commented that the old railway station has changed. I used to ride the train here for six years during my school years.

After checking-in, we headed to the new CIQ. Oh, by the way, the new railway station is actually the new CIQ. Imagine my children excitement when passing by a traffic light there. Another way of showing your lane. After a breeze check up by the immigration and customs officers, we made our way towards the causeway. Well, the first impression of the CIQ was great. In place of a crooked bridge, we have a crooked road instead.But the nightmare began after we passed the old CIQ. For almost 2 hours, we were stucked in a traffic jam going into S'pore. After all the necessary security checks, from eight lanes converging to only two, we finally made it to S'pore.

S'pore hasn't changed much. Except for some road improvements, it's as though time has stood still. The last time I was in S'pore was 17 years ago. We managed to find our way around. Showed my daughter the hospital where she was born, the condominium we stayed and the office where my husband used to work.Over the span of three days, we went to the zoo, science centre and of course did a little bit of shopping.

The second day, on our way back from S'pore, we faced a massive traffic jam [by my own standard]. It was a working day and it was 5.30 in the evening. I saw thousands and thousands of motorcycles braved their way towards Woodlands checkpoint. As I saw it, everybody was waiting patiently, some even had the time to read newspaper. The way I saw it, it must be the norm everyday.The picture above says it all. I'm sorry I am still in the learning process that's why the pictures are all over the place. I'll try to do better next time.

After so much hue and cry in the local newspaper about how inefficient the new CIQis, this is what I have to say. If we can be patient when entering and leaving the Woodlands checkpoint, why can't we do the same on Malaysian side? After all the security of the country is utmost important here. When it involves thousands and thousands of people everyday, thats the least we can do to our country.. wait and wait again. Of course I had not experienced the frustrations of those using the public buses. Think positively. Walking an extra mile do a lot of good to you. How I envy all of you, for staying slim by all the walking you have to do. If there is any consolation, my husband is stuck in a traffic jam everyday too , here in Kuala Lumpur. It takes him around one hour to reach his place of work, without shedding a single gramme of fat because he is driving.

2009-02-04T23:32:00.000-08:00

As I am writing, the Perak state government [PR] is fighting for its life. The federal government[BN] is waiting to been given another lease of life. It's irony that almost a year ago, the political
scene in Perak was the other way round. I'm not a political person but I read the newspaper everyday and thats how I am interested in any development thats happening in this country.

The hopping around [pardon me for using the word ] of politicians does not inthe least amused me.Both the PR and BN do not have any respect towards the wishes of the rakyat. But to be fair, I must say that all this started with the aspiration of one person. Can I be sued for writing what I feel? I hope not. I used to admire this one person but as time passes, the less respect I have for him. If only he is patient enough to wait for his turn in the next general election, this chaos would not have happen. Why is he so desperate to take over the government? This question keeps ringing in my mind over and over again. The Perak people have been patient and waited for years to have a different set of government but to have it all crumbles in just 11 months.

If this one person had played his card right instead of being so arrogant, this would not have happen. One thing came to my mind, if its alright for PR to have a BN to cross over then I'm sure there's nothing wrong if a PR crossover to be an independent.Hey! it makes sense right?.Otherwise it's just like a pot calling the kettle black. Please do not have a double standard.
It works both ways.

For politicians who like to hop around, it beats me to understand the reasons for doing it. Pardon me for saying this [btw why should I ask for forgiveness] all I can say is that all of you have no principle in life. It's okay if you become an independent but to hop back and forth just don't get me. You would be lucky, very lucky if you win the next election. I for one will not be voting for you.

To all the political leaders out there please remember that you are up there because we chose you. Do not make the same mistake time and time again. You must be seen fair and clean to all of us. The PAS government in Trengganu failed to make a comeback for some small reasons like giving scholarship to their kin and relatives. The PR government in Perak [according to my opinion] would lose too for giving land to some quarters of people only. Please be fair. If you want to give something, give to all level otherwise don't give at all. Be fair, that's all we ask. If you can't, give your position to someone else who can make a difference.

I have to go now and watch the evening news . Remember the best always win.. whoever the best is.

English Everyone?

2009-02-03T22:36:00.000-08:00

Here I am again trying to make sense of the blogging world. What do I want to write about? What else but something close to my heart. For those who have school-going children, the current debate about teaching science and mathematics in English seems one of the most important topics nowadays.

I was one of those products where English was the medium of instruction. You may say that I'm biased towards the language. Don't get me wrong. To me it doesn't matter whether both subjects are taught in English or Malay. It pained me to watch my 2 elder children struggling with the language during their school years. It hasn't stop since I still have 3 more school going
children.

English is a world knowned language. Like it or not, you have to master it in order to be successful in life. Not just successful but to get by in this world too. So, how do we go about it. Read, read and read more English. Here's how we can do it.

1. Have at least one hour a week to read stories. Bring the students out in the open [ preferably under the cool shade of a big tree], sit in a circle and read a short story aloud. Make sure the
pronounciation is clear and correct, and make sure the students understand every meaning of the words.

2. Then let each and every student tells those stories in their own words. This is to make sure
that the student understand the storyline. This too will make the student more confident of having English conversations.

3. Collect some fund for buying story books. I know it's expensive but hear me first. A RM10 is
collected from each student. A class of 35 will have RM350. Buy 35 books from this fund. If more money is needed, I'm sure some generous parent will contribute. All the teacher has to do is ask. Ask each student to read a book a week. He or she has 35 books to read and for just RM10 a year. Elect a class librarian to handle the the lending and returning of books. To make sure the students read their books, pick at random 3 or 4 students each week to tell the class on
their stories. Just imagine, at the end of their school year [ 11 years ] the students have read 385 books in total. At the end of school year the student has the option of giving his book to the school library or take it home. Thank you Mrs. Chai for doing this in 1969. What a very brilliant idea.

4. Have an English dictionary in the classroom for everybody to use.

And then the English teacher can teach the students Grammar. Piece of cake.

What a disaster

2009-02-03T17:55:00.000-08:00

How hard can it be?? It's just a writing.. But at a push of a button, everything that I wrote went off. Not off to the posting but off from the screen. That's how hard it is. I had written a nice article[to my knowledge], took me almost an hour. Not too bad for an old [ I dislike using the word 'old' but do I have any choice here] person like me. I was admiring the article.. I had not written any intelligent thing for a long time. To be precise, since 1987. I was smiling, perfectly happy with what I had written Then I pushed a button. Voila! it's done. I pushed another button to view the newly posted blog.. Nothing.. nothing came out. I pushed another button to view the original writing. Still.. Nothing. I knew I messed up. Gone.. my beautiful writing. What a disaster, Imagine my horror. I called my husband and vented my frustration. What did he say? Learn and know your computer first. Okay, I'm learning.. It's not button but KEY

2009-02-03T16:26:00.000-08:00

2009-02-03T05:13:00.000-08:00

At this age, I'm surprised I have my own blog. What surprises me more is that I let everyone read my blog. I have millions of things to write. Thanks to my youngest daughter for helping me create this blog. Guess, I'll have to start with introducing myself. I'm a mother with five [yes,
five] children, the eldest being 25 and the youngest 10. At my age I supposed I am allowed to write whatever I feel and think is right. Anyone can comment on my writing provided the words used are proper.. otherwise I will think that you had a bad upbringing. My opinions are mine, so please respect them as I will respect yours. I'll appreciate all the constructive criticism and I thank you in advance. Welcome to my blog.